Pawn to Rook 4

Well Its been two years ago today that the bomb went off and I found emails between my ole lady and her best friend saying they loved each other and she didnt love me. We've since decided she was in the midst of a bad relapse and very confused. Whatever. I know that pain is bone deep and is always gonna be there for me. Z years ago today we got married. Such a crappy day to have such polar anniversaries. Last Friday she confessed to some mor relapsing. I knew something was up when she didnt wanna pick up a year chip. Well Im not too worried about it. Either she will do better and change or she wont. I doubt she can make anything cose to a year if she doesnt. I on the other hand am doing well. Im very much reinvigorated about the program. I started more regular prayer and meditation a week or two ago. Im doing the thing where I fight judgement with gratitude. Pretty neat way to accept things. Ive also been trying to make good moves in my life. I started Chantix today and will quit smoking yet again in the next few days (I hope). Theres some other things Im not going to get specific on that I have had to look at . Ive cut off somethings and other things are changing. It hard to prune away things Im attatched to in the hopes of strengthening my whole self. Oh and I got up 30 whole minutes early today. Not enough time to do anthing really but its a start. I need to find a schedule to work out. Im on the kick again that I wanna lose 25 lbs. Im not gonna start out by running or anything really but rather trying to make the space in my life where it would fit.